I've had a great deal of time to think... this isn't always a good thing. You can get all caught up in your thoughts, self-talk and self-analysis... trying to figure out where you went wrong, or if what you said was proper or helpful... or was it just mean and misdirected.
I've had friends that I've trusted with my life and able to offer an honest opinion or view of a situation. And they felt the same. As Anne Shirley said... "bosom friends" and "kindred spirits".
I have heard from several cyber-friends who are struggling in relationships. It takes time to process a situation and determine whether a relationship is one you want to salvage or let go.
Friendships used to come so easily! Friendships developed with co-workers. Though that changes when you or they move on to a different place of employment or place of worship... As Dave and I have processed over the last several years, we came to realize that many of those we considered our closest friends was more of a relationship of convenience that centered around our children or our jobs. Some of them were good, healthy friendships, but a few we realized were not. While we are better off in having let some of them go, it doesn't mean that we aren't longing for face-to-face time with people on a regular basis... on a deeper level.
As empty nesters of 13 years, we still see some of our "friends" but have grown tired of being the ones to always reach out and arrange a get together. Sooooo... what do we do???
I joked in response to a reader's comment, that I've considered taking out a "wanted" ad. Just for fun... think SWF, looking for a companion who enjoys...
What would an ad look like???? Would/Should I place age limitations? Interests? What sort of characteristics/expectations would you include
Just for fun... help me out! Leave a comment...
WANTED: ISO a bosom friend.
Fabric is a little like friendships... you need some contrast for the best results, helping each other to shine. Too close in shade and the effect can be lost. Sometimes it takes a third or fourth participant to tone down that one that stands out and to help everyone blend in the best way.
I thought the peas in a pod fabric was really cute and I had three fat quarters. I mixed in a few other prints to fulfill the requirements of the top as needed.
Perfect? No, but some sweet baby or toddler will not mind and probably won't notice. ;)
Those 2 pinks together were troublesome, and I only noticed them after having the blocks all sewn together. Some friends are simply inseparable! ;)
I recall a time when my bestie and I (once inseparable) would excitedly send our kids off on the school bus and then drive to Pueblo for a day of shopping. The first stop on our agenda was the always Barnes & Noble bookstore. On one particular trip I picked up a book by one of my all-time favorite authors, Laura Ingalls Wilder ~ A Family Collection. It was comprised of articles she had originally written for the Missouri Ruralist between 1911 and 1918.
One story struck me then... and still resonates. This is just a small excerpt... LIW described a situation where several local women judged another woman for her unkept house and the need for the daughter to manage the household chores while the mother seemed to idle away her time... when, in fact, the woman was writing for papers to earn money to buy the daughter's new winter outfit.
I read a little verse a few years ago entitled, "If We Only Understood," and the refrain was:
"We would love each other better, if we only understood."
I have forgotten the author and lost the verse, but the refrain has remained in my memory and comes to my mind every now and then when I hear unkind remarks made about people.
The things that people do would look so differently to us if we only understood the reason for their actions, nor would we blame them so much for their faults if we knew all the circumstances of their lives. Even their sins might not look so hideous if we could feel what pressure and perhaps suffering had caused them. The safest course is to be as understanding as possible and where our understanding fails, call charity to its aid. Learn to distinguish between persons and the things they do, and while we may not always approve of their actions, have a sympathy and feeling of kindness for the persons themselves.
It may even be that what we consider faults and weaknesses in others are only prejudices on our own part. Some of us would like to see everybody fitted to our own pattern and what a tiresome world this would be if that were done. We should be willing to allow others the freedom we demand for ourselves. Everyone has the right to self-expression
If we keep this genial attitude toward the world and the people in it, we will keep our own minds and feelings healthy and clean. Even the vigilance necessary to guard our thoughts this way will bring us rewards in better disciplined minds and happier dispositions.
It seems that in the current age we have lost the ability to be more understanding... Words of hate have been spewed via the internet (words that would likely never be spoken when face to face) over political stances, opinions and rights. Friendships lost and families broken and divided... the very strategy of the enemy! Separation... Isolation... loneliness...
We must not let the enemy win! Why can't we offer understanding and charity... But on the other hand, what if only we could be brave and honest with our situations.
How much pain and judgement could the woman and her daughter been spared if they had been open with others about the reason the daughter was responsible for the household chores???
Perhaps neither the mother nor daughter felt they had a friend they could confide in... Perhaps, had they shared the situation, other women would have stepped forward to assist... forming deep and meaningful friendships. Perhaps??? Yes, perhaps, indeed.
Ok, so back to my "Friend Wanted" ad... won't you chime in? I'll be in my studio quilting this "Sweet Pea - Cute as a Button" quilt with some large hanging diamonds. :)
Keep Piecing,
Melva
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